This is not your average parenting book, AT ALL. If you’re interested in even flipping through this book, you’re probably just like me about a decade ago—a dedicated mom or dad, looking for some honesty in the constant barrage of the do’s and don’ts world of structured, parenting books. Some days you just take a step back, realize you only slept two decent hours again, look at yourself and that new zit or gray hair, your child mid-tantrum, step on a random Lego that is excruciatingly painful and mid-hallway, and think to yourself, “Seriously?!”
Brutally honest trial-and-error parenting tips and life lessons that pediatricians, parents, and friends don’t mention!
Many of you who even clicked this link to view this book after seeing the title can likely relate to the fun, craziness, and mind-altering experience that is parenting, family, and our daily personal journey—starting from ourselves as kids, to becoming parents, becoming an improvised version of our parents, battling our own anxieties, and then watching our extended family transform into complete disparity from what we ever knew… and to top it all off, trying to figure out who we have truly become and who we want to be! It’s just crazy and comical all at the same time, right?
Our friends, family, and strangers make up this world where imperfect is frowned upon. We are always struggling to be or feign something that doesn’t exist… perfect! And the more perfect we strive to become, the more chaotic, unrealistic, and depressing this world can seem (not to mention the more quickly chastised we are when any of our faults poke through). The less perfect we accept, the more room for fun, learning, growth, and appreciation we can experience. It’s so ironic and makes so much sense at the same time, right? I think the key is letting go of expectation and the guilt/shame associated with making a mistake—that’s a loaded statement. Let it sink in for a moment.
If only we could each have a chance at being a SUPERFLY on the walls of nearly all homes—when people don’t think anyone is watching—we would then learn that despite all of our differences, we are all mostly the same. Truth is, you can be a fly too—by just talking to other people and being real. This has truly become my passion, because I have met so many people from around the world—different cultures, religion, and education, and I continue to be fascinated. Do exactly this: just talk, just listen, let go of vanity and expectation, try and relate and you will see how people open up and honesty flows, and you will learn… we are all the same!
Perhaps that’s why the term “SUPERMOM” annoys me so much. Truly. I don’t like it at all. Yes, it’s a compliment, and we are all Supermoms who try our best… but, I become truly bothered by this label because it seems like it conveys a level of superiority or perfection that simply does not exist. It serves to self-scrutinize, and I really can’t stand that. People look at me and either ask how I manage it all or sneer at me while secretly hoping I fall flat on my face on the walk into school. I know who you are… believe me, I see it, I get it. When complimented or slant-stared, my inner curmudgeon almost wants to shake each person and say:
“Do you even have any clue as to what my morning was like?! My daughter locked herself in the bathroom for 40 freakin’ minutes this morning, screaming insults at me while refusing to go to school, another child had a headache and refused to get dressed or out of bed, my third daughter spilled all of her juice on her clean uniform right before we left the house, and my 3-year old son refused to eat breakfast and then spit on me. Seriously?! Give this woman a break, and DO NOT put me on any pedestal and think you suck, just because we are holding hands into school! You have no idea what I just went through!”
But yes, we somehow got passed that disaster of a morning, raced into the car, put some booty-shaking music on and all sang/danced loudly to get rid of our inner monsters… after a few apologies and a group hug later, we miraculously arrived to school on time, and actually smiling, and voila. So yes, I was grinning by the sheer monstrosity, madness, and miracle of the morning… but all passerbys ever see is the smile and easy walk into the classroom… completely unknowing, all-judging, and self-deprecating.
On the outside, most put on their best “show” smile in the midst of many situations, as we seemingly try and control our kids to be on their best behavior, paint the perfect picture of family in conversation, and make relationships seem flawless. This merely creates stress, anxiety and failed expectations. The more I read about parenting, share my experiences with parents, open up about ridiculous daily situations, own up to my own weaknesses, the more feedback I receive that is absolutely amazing AND hilarious AND so helpful!
Nobody said that parenting was supposed to be easy or simple. Let’s face it, we didn’t create robots who are all supposed to meet the same milestones, eat the same food, be the perfect student, always behave like angels, and have constant sweet and bubbly relationships with our spouse, in-laws, and siblings. The more I talk to people, the more I see that I am NOT the only one!
Being a parent is not just about teaching children how to become civilized and responsible adults one day… it’s ALSO about learning about ourselves, and that’s the hardest part! Before becoming a parent, NOBODY prepares you for those moments that you feel you have entered the Twilight Zone, or what to do when you are having a head-spinning moment or bust out with a Darth Vader voice just to be heard (oh believe me, I’m a pro at that one). We’re human!
Get ready to laugh, relate, and pickup some great parenting tips that so many have shared with me—from common and unspoken situations we deal with our children, how to handle ourselves and our kids, how our relationship with our spouse evolves, generational home remedies that work, real parent feedback about child products, recipes for silly activities with your kids, and so much more.
Indulge in this fun and easy read about what works, what doesn’t, what we go through, and how to deal with the everyday—and just be happy. In the end, that’s all that it’s about, right? Make every moment count! So here it is… all of the juicy “stuff” for your absorption and entertainment.
Believe me, I’ve been there and back again. I get it. ALL of it.
Until it happened
It’s time someone wrote the parenting un-guide.
So who is this author chick?
Right about now, you’re probably thinking, “so who is this author chick?” Who am I to feel even capable of writing an entire book on this topic… Let me break it down to you like this:
I have four kids—three girls and a boy. I have been through most stages at this point, four times over. I am a type A personality who is extremely organized and even more stubborn. I am always determined to figure out a way to everything, and at the same time, I am super low maintenance. Every time I veered the wrong direction in my parenting, I sucked it up and was determined to find a way. I was lucky enough to have four chances for figuring out mostly everything, until I realized that most “pull-your-hair-out” moments are typically a variance of intensity of a common stage.
I like things simple, honest, and straightforward. I am a huge proponent of easy home remedies to prevent and treat a host of illnesses and am really good at it—and I have absolutely no problem with medicine when we really need it. Our household eats super healthy, all of us, but (downfall) I love sweets. I have lived in numerous countries and pride myself on being friends with as many moms as possible to learn about their experiences and life lessons. I love it. Believe me, I’ve learned a lot. My kids and husband aren’t perfect, and neither am I.
My life is an opened book, I am honest and hold nothing back, and that’s how I like it. Teachers (and students) ask me to teach and have oftentimes implemented my learning techniques into their classrooms. I am often asked, “How do you do it all?” Hence, my unintentional nickname among those who know me has become “Supermom.”
Now, before you roll your eyes and discount me with that sneering “b*tch” retort, don’t shut me out. I have been through most uncomfortable situations in my life, I have overcome major challenges and obstacles, I still experience all of the ground-shaking and head-spinning tantrums and anxiety fests from my children on a pretty frequent basis—but I have failed enough times to figure out how to succeed. I have overcome and have learned so much that I am now ready to share the good, the bad, the ugly, the gross, and all of the life-changing realizations in between.
Don’t forget, I am a Type A personality, so cleanliness and organization are key in my life to reduce stress. Even if you’re not, I can help teach you how to make simple improvisations to improve on the every day, and how to cope and expect the unexpected. I choose happiness every day, and I will show you how as well.
Oh, and best of all, I am also a writer by profession. I have been a copywriter, journalist, and editor—written for magazine, television, radio, Web, and print. This is kind of my thing, and for some reason people whom I meet, even since childhood, from all over the world, seem to flock to me for any and every parenting, personal, and relationship advice. Somehow I seem to change lives for the better, and also keep hearing the requests for a book like this out there.
Discover my personal truths, life lessons, and practical take-away tips in this entertaining and essential parenting guide.
– See more at: http://superflysupermom.com/index.php/fly-on-the-wall-chronicles/#sthash.KWbXYNdk.dpuf
So, without further ado, I have finally compiled a most meaty, practical and truthful memoir, filled with every ounce of collective experience, knowledge, and advice acquired and squeezed out of my being, through the years.
I am not a doctor, psychologist, teacher, or behaviorist… although people migrate toward me as if I were.
So please enjoy my naked truth, and I hope I can make your life better or even help you to laugh, smile, and relate.
I’ve made the mistakes so that you don’t have to!
With love,Ruthi Davis
In a Nutshell
- expect the unexpected
- quest to perfect
- rocky road
- the food fight
- oh, crap!
- their way or the highway
- hurricane force tantrums
- sibling love smacks
- yickety-yack, they talk back!
- restaurant madness
- braving the vacation
- honesty is the best policy
- speak up!
- together time
- learning without teaching
- something’s not quite right
- the last (and hardest) few pounds to go
- indulge in your moment
- recipe for fun
- more than mommy’s kiss… to make it all better
- shopping for the good stuff
- get yourself together
- a little boost